By Deb Schwartzkopf

Kind of strange, but trimming in all its forms has never been my favorite. Whether it’s trimming a plate or editing how many things I want to do… Maybe that is because I need more practice! I am trying to turn over a new leaf. I am building new habits that help me focus my energy.

I’ve been earning some sort of living as a potter since I got my MFA from Penn State in 2005. At first I was comfortable, even elated, when earning a living meant I could cover expenses. Mind you, at this stage it meant having an air mattress for a bed and a second one for a couch in a tiny rented apartment with a subsidized studio at a residency. I bounced around from residency to teaching appointment and back to residencies again for five or so years slowly picking up momentum. It was a steep learning curve to support myself as a living. This was an amazing learning experience and I am grateful for the time sharing information with studio mates and the safety nets multiple arts organizations gave.

In 2009, I moved back to Seattle, my home town, with the intent to stay. I scrimped and saved and got lucky. I was able to purchase a home in 2013 at the lowest drop in prices. In addition to a nest egg I saved up, the assistance from my mother, a personal loan from close friends, and recently won fellowship from Artist Trust afforded me the ability to make a down payment. Taking on a mortgage loan was a huge burden. It made me so nervous to own so much money, but it is one of the best moves I have made.

Before I took this on, I knew the upper limits of what I was capable taking on financially as a maker. The decision to own a home and set up a studio stretched what I was capable of even further. So far, that it was hard to keep sight of my intention with the bills and projects surrounding me.

Now seven years later, I am finally used to making mortgage payments and most of the giant house projects are dialed in (knock on wood). The flow of the studio is closer to where I want it. There is am amazing team furthering this, and I finally have time and energy to put back into feeding my own need for rest, focus, and learning how to take a little less on… Just a little : )

What I am noticing about myself is … Try as I might, I am still operating with a mindset of scarcity and I am ready for a shift. What I mean by “a mindset of scarcity” is, until now I have accepted every opportunity that came my way (even if it did not serve my mission or budget), self care was at the bottom of the list, and there were very few, if any, resting hours. I have often made decisions out of fear instead of with a clear mission in mind. Instead of feeling desperate and that I will not “make it” I am working to define my goals and asking focusing questions. I am starting to meet with others who have more skills than I do to learn and grow!

Questions I am asking myself…
”If I was not already doing in this way, would I continue in the same manner?”
”What do I want to be possible through this project - for both myself and those I am trying to serve/ reach?”
”Are there people I wish I was working with?”
”How do I define success?”
”And where do I need the most support right now?”
”How can I make each small choice/ step 1% better?”

What a journey!

Books/ Blogs/ Podcasts - Read & Recommended…

https://www.sarahjbray.com/ | https://wanderwellconsulting.com/ | https://onbeing.org/series/podcast/

I am making time to read or listen to books on tape. I Figure if I do not have enough time to read a chapter or two a week, then I need to re-prioritize. Atomic Habits and The Thriving Artist are the current books, and A No BS Guide… is in the que. The rest are past great reads!